Thank goodness! I am finally home after The Grand East Coast Tour that we made for the holidays. We saw everyone in our immediate family this year – mom, dad, sisters, cousins. It’s always great to see family, but ten days away from my own bed makes me cranky. I am glad to be back!
I’m always a little anxious when I visit my family. Most of them do not believe in God the same way that I do. Note that I did not say that they don’t believe in God at all. But they are far more liberal in their understanding than I am. I believe in a personal relationship with Jesus my Savior, in the Holy Spirit who guides me day by day, and that He has a purpose and plan for my life. That personal relationship is missing where much of my family is concerned. At times, they have viewed me as a fundamentalist freak (terminology mine). At times they have been very vocal about their concerns about my “radical” faith. At times, we have argued and feelings on both sides have been hurt. And my mother has put her foot down on the issue – don’t talk about religion with her youngest daughter (me).
All of this has made me a little sad at times. I wish that we could talk openly and honestly about our differences without getting offended at one another. Mostly, we just dance around on eggshells and try to keep the peace for as long as we are together. But keeping the peace has led me to some interesting observations. Like what happened at Christmas at my sister’s house this year.
My sister’s boys have a computer game that I am not comfortable with my children playing. It’s not inherently evil or “devil-worshiping” or anything like that – it just doesn’t reflect the values and convictions of our family. Unfortunately, my daughter saw her cousins playing the game and joined in one morning before I or her father got up, so she was already knee-deep in it when we found out. Rather than create a land-war over a game, we acquiesced and allowed her to continue under our close watch. That was a mistake.
Later, my sister and I were running some errands and began a conversation about what was acceptable for my family and hers. Now, I am painfully aware of my family’s view of my faith, and I am anxious to prove to them that I am not a legalist or a Bible-beater or any of those other things that they’ve accused me of or had experience with in the Bible Belt of the South. So, standing on the ground of “all things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial” (1 Corinthians 10:23), I found myself defending her choices of movies, activities, and yeah – even that computer game.
Oh, boy. I was on a very slippery slope.
That night, I began to ask some questions of myself and of God. If I continued to turn the other way, keep the peace on all of these issues, what then is the difference between me and an unbelieving world? Am I blurring the line too much? Is my motive really to not be offensive with the gospel, or am I just protecting myself from a potential confrontation? And then the thought occurred to me that cut like a knife: do I value peace with my family over pleasing my God?
My husband and I talked things over, and we decided to have a very direct conversation with our daughter about that computer game. Though she was disappointed, she understood that it wasn’t something we felt God would be pleased with and agreed to not play it anymore. And that decision did not cause a land-war at my sister’s house over religious differences. Whew!
But now, I have mixed feelings over the conversations that I’ve had with my family over the years. On the one hand, I hope they have taken me out of the narrow and confining box they put me in when I first professed my faith. I am not sitting in judgment over them or their choices. I won’t be calling down fire and brimstone on their houses if they watch that TV show or make such-and-such a choice. They are as free to live their lives in the way that they see fit as I am. But unless I clearly define the difference between living a life that includes God in some way and living a life that is about God in all ways, then why would they ever turn to God and accept Him as He really is? What difference would it make?
More importantly, what difference does it make to God? Even if they never turn to Him, me showing my love for Him has got to be more important than keeping the peace for a few days. Am I risking hurt feelings and judgment in my family? Sure. But I should certainly know by now that it’s well worth it. That He’s well worth it.
Forgive me, Lord, for my self-serving and cowardly heart. Give me the strength and courage to speak for what You have taught me is right. And would You speak to those I love and show them who You really are? All other issues pale in the light of You. You make all of the difference.
