The Diet Thing.  I completed the 14-day detox diet and gradually went back to “normal” foods. Even though I didn’t lose any significant weight, I did learn a few things. Apparently, I am sensitive to lactose.  Ever since that experience, I get queasy after eating a bowl of cereal or a cup of yogurt or anything with a lot of dairy products in it.  Small quantities don’t bother me, but anything with concentrated amounts, does.  That’s probably going to curb my Lucky Charms addiction.  I know that I could go to soy milk or almond milk or something like that, but I’m choosing to just limit my dairy intake – and hopefully my fat intake as well.  The other thing I learned is that I do have the willpower to change what I eat, at least in the short term.

Summer. As you can probably tell by my absence, summer was a whirlwind.  This is the first summer that I have been back at work since my children were born.  It was a blur of day camps, “grandma-camps”, swimming pools, and family trips.  There was no routine to speak of, but we had a lot of fun.  School just started last week and I, for one, am grateful for the return of a semi-regular schedule!

Sudan. Yes, Sudan.  I went on my first missions trip in early August to Nagishot, Sudan.  Four of us went to minister to the ladies there,to teach them some Bible stories and share the gospel and just love on them.  Seven women came to Christ, which was absolutely amazing.  The country is very poor and very beautiful, as are the people.  I’d do it again in a heartbeat. More on that later, too.

Ministry life. Fall ministry is gearing up already, and I’m up to my eyeballs in new opportunities to teach and minister to the women of FEFC. I’m teaching the REAL Women’s Bible study this season, and hosting a new ministry for moms called “Moms’ Connection.”  We’ve got the FEFC Women’s Conference coming up in October, too.  As crazy as it all sounds, God is raising up the women to lead and to help me with all of these ministries and more.  It’s a cool thing to watch.  But, I’m noticing that I’m getting a bit callous to the little miracles He does every day; I’m growing more accustomed to them, I guess.  I really don’t want to ever lose the wonder that I’ve had during this first year of ministry.  How I hang on to it, I’m not sure.  That’s something I’ll be praying about.

OK, then.  I’ll be sharing more details about all of these things and more in the weeks to come.  My brain and heart seem to be very full, so I’m sure it will take some time to unpack it all. I hope you’ll hang in there with me for it all.

I’m starting to feel a bit brain-dead.  My physical energy level is pretty good and my mood was a lot better.   But I’m having some trouble concentrating – feeling a little spacey.  Writing this, for example, is proving challenging. I’ve already lost myself somewhere in space three times, my mind drawing a complete blank. Some folks who know me well would say that’s not that unusual!  Still, it’s making complex tasks more difficult than they should be.   I think I’ll put off a few things until next week when all of this is over.

Just a side note – a couple of the gals in the office and I were talking about some of the things people say to us, how other people perceive us.  I sort of started the conversation by noting that in the course of 30 minutes, I had been described as “out there” and “crafty” (in the sense of doing crafts, not scheming.  I think it was intended as a compliment)  by two of my co-workers.  So, I’m keeping a record of the adjectives people use to describe me.  Maybe after a few weeks, I’ll get a picture of how others view me and my personality.  We’ll see if it’s anything close to how I perceive myself.  Just a little experiment I’m working on…..

What I ate: Breakfast was gluten-free toast with raspberry jam (no sugar) which held me until I got to work and my supply of organic oatmeal.  I tried a frozen organic lunch of roasted turkey, quinoa rice and green beens – it was appallingly bad.  I only ate about half of it.  I stopped at the store on the way home for some granola and had two big bowls of that for snack – I was so hungry!  Dinner was sauteed chicken, oven baked fries and apples.  Much better!

How I felt: Energy level was much better.  I did yoga in the late afternoon for exercise.  My mood was a lot better too.

What I learned: Organic frozen meals are awful – at least the brand that I tried was.  I’m pretty reluctant to try the other one that I have in my freezer unless I have a good back-up plan.  And I’m still capable of eating a lot of cereal when I’m really hungry.  Does it make a difference that it’s granola and rice milk instead of Lucky Charms?  Probably.  Should I still limit myself to one bowl at a time?  Probably.

Tonight is the first time I have felt truly tempted to just give up the diet.  It’s not that I’m jonesing for anything in particular.  I just don’t want to eat the things that I’m allowed to eat.  I just want….something else.  I couldn’t stomach another bite of my salad or my asparagus at dinner tonight, so I didn’t eat enough.  Now, it’s past my no-more-food time of 8pm and I’m way too hungry.  So I’m resorting to a bowl of strawberries to hold me over until morning.

Do you ever feel that way?  Like you’re just tired of being good and want to be bad for a little while? Not for any particular reason, and not even being tempted by anything unusual?  It’s that sense of being in a china shop and wanting to break out a baseball bat and smash the place to smithereens. Or put tape on the cat’s paws. Or pop the heads off of all the doodlebugs in your driveway.  What’s up with that?

I suppose it’s the core of the perverted human nature to do destructive and selfish things.  Such urges become much more strong when we’re uncomfortable or under stress.  Being out of our comfort zone peels away all of our nice-guy masks and reveals what’s really deep down inside there.  Things that we don’t want to even admit to ourselves but are lurking in the dark just waiting for a crack to show up so they can leap out and wreak havoc on your self-image and good reputation.  That’s one of the benefits of being pushed into uncomfortable places – it forces us to see the ugly sides of ourselves and give us a chance to beg God to heal us.

Did Jesus ever heal anyone who didn’t ask, or at least didn’t have someone ask on their behalf?  I can’t think of a single time.  If that’s the case, then those ugly parts of me creeping around in the deep corners of my life won’t be renewed until I ask, and I can’t ask if I don’t know about them. So I guess it’s good for me to see the un-pretty side of me that just wants to cave and eat an entire cheesecake.  Or a loaf of bread with butter.  Either one is fine.  Lord, help me!

What I ate: The usual granola and blueberry breakfast.  Spinach salad with chicken for lunch.  Toast with hummus and strawberries for snacks, along with some decaf chamomile tea.  For dinner, grilled salmon with mango salsa, roasted asparagus, a salad, and some gluten free toast.  And now…more strawberries for “dessert.”

How I felt: I’ve been unusually emotional today.  Combine that with having some PMS-like symptoms last night – highly unusual, since I haven’t had such symptoms in over a year – and I think I may have some diet-related hormone fluctuations going on.  I was a bit nauseous after lunch today, too.  Energy level is okay.  I’m just moody.

What I’ve learned: I’m easily bored.  I’m sure there are other food options for me to work with, but none of them are in my pantry right now.  Not sure what to do about the veggie overload.  I’m really missing having butter on my toast and baked potato, or mayo on my sandwich.  Makes both of those options pretty boring.  Which leaves me with more salads.  Sigh….

Now, I’m not terribly adventurous in my food choices on a good day, but I know several people who love hummus.  And I love chipotle and sun-dried tomatoes.  So I gleefully picked up a carton, and then picked out some spinach and artichoke hummus as well, figuring I’m going to need to be snacking on this stuff quite a bit.  I added it to my cart of gluten-free stuff (for me) and oreo cookies (for the kids) and headed home.

It was snack time after I finished unloading my groceries, so I toasted up some white rice bread and settled in with my Facebook page, hummus open, knife in hand, ready for adventure. I smeared a good glob of the pinky stuff on my toast and took a bite.  Huh.  It was a bit underwhelming.  Lighter than I thought it would be.  Kind of a funny taste that reminded me a bit of refried beans.  Not unpleasant, but nothing to rave about.  Still, I finished two pieces of toast smeared with it.

I guess one of the adventures of this diet is acquiring some new tastes to replace some of the things that I’m eliminating.  If I can’t have nuts this week, I’m going to have to vary up my options or go insane.  Granola with blueberries, for example.  I’ll be keeping that in my repertoire. Hummus….well…the jury is still out.  My snack options are slim so I’m going to give it the good ol’ college try.  I’ll let you know how the spinach and artichoke version is tomorrow, but I’m not sure about that.  I like spinach and artichoke dip, but that’s mostly cheese.  On their own, spinach and artichokes are rarely on my menu.  Like I said, I’m not very adventurous.

What I ate: Apple and blueberry granola with rice milk for breakfast.  I’ve already told you about my snack.  Lunch was turkey on a gluten free bagel with strawberries on the side.  Derry insisted on taking me out to dinner, so we went to Cheddar’s.  I had a house salad with basalmic vinagrette, grilled salmon and a baked potato.  I fudged a bit on the baked potato – I couldn’t stomach the thought of eating it dry, so I had some butter on that.  Otherwise, I stuck to the plan pretty well.

How I felt: Only the faintest hint of the caffeine headache today.  Tonight, I don’t feel it at all.  Energy level was good enough to get some more spring cleaning done and to swim about 2000m at the pool this afternoon.

What I learned: Hummus is an acquired taste.  And dropping dairy from my diet is going to be really, really hard.

I start phase two of the detox tomorrow, though.  That means eliminating more things from my diet – this is about to get a lot harder.  What’s on the chopping block?  Dairy, beef, nuts, seeds, and high glycemic fruits like bananas.  Ouch.  I’ve been consoling myself with some organic cheese and yogurt, and cooking in organic unsalted butter from time to time. Now, I’m going to have to give up that crutch.  It also means that I’ve got to find some better sources of protein, probably black beans and hummus.  I’ve never really had a lot of hummus.  Guess I’ll be experimenting with that next.

I wish I had something super-spiritual to tie this into today.  I could say something about how God is never content to leave us where we are, that He’s constantly calling us onward and upward to be more like Him.  I could say that we should not rest of our laurels for long, because if we’re not moving forward, we’re sliding backward.  Maybe I’ll feel more creative and wax poetic tomorrow.  Tonight, I just don’t have it.  You’ll have to forgive me.  I’ll try to do better tomorrow.

The other thing that I need to do better on is exercising.  I’ve been fairly lazy about that.  Not that I’ve been lazy – the four hours of housework yesterday was hardly relaxing. But if I’m going to lose weight – which is the point of this after all – I need to get back into an exercise routine.  So my goal this week is to exercise five of the next seven days.  Tomorrow, I’ve promised the kids that we’ll go to the pool, so I’ll swim some laps.  The other days, I need to get in some yoga at the very least, if not a brisk walk/run or short bike ride.

What I ate: Granola with apples and blueberries this morning, baked potato and salad for lunch, strawberries for snack, and an egg white sandwich on gluten free toast with kiwi and bananas for dinner.  I topped it off with some lemon yogurt and granola for dessert.  No sense in letting that yogurt go to waste. Juice and water to drink all day.  Pretty good.

How I felt: Not bad.  Pretty good energy this morning.  I’m programmed for a Sunday afternoon nap, which lasted about two hours today.  This evening, I’m reasonably energetic as well, wrestling with the kids and such.  My caffeine headache is getting milder each day, but still hanging around in the back of my head.

What I learned: This change of diet is probably sustainable in a looser form for the long term.  I’ll need to consider that as I finish things up next week.  But I was thinking today that I actually like granola and fresh fruit, and I’m not missing my junk food as much as I thought I would.  Not having a diet coke or coffee in the morning is probably the hardest thing so far.

Derry and I are teaching the “Five Love Languages” book to our class at church right now.  Today, as we were going through our notes for tomorrow, I noticed a similarity between having a healthy body and having a healthy marriage.  If I start shoveling into my marriage things that aren’t good for it – things that are easy, convenient, worldly – then my marriage will likely stagnate and suffer.  But if I choose only the highest quality and best suited ingredients for my relationship with my husband….well, I can probably expect an entirely different result.  I’m far more likely to have a marriage filled with energy and productive and growing as it should.  Blessedly, my marriage is much like that, but only because Derry and I have been very intentional about what we put into our relationship.  If only my body looked like my marriage!  But these things can be learned….

What I ate: Breakfast was granola with blueberries and rice cereal.  Lunch was a turkey sandwich on gluten free bread.  Dinner was a low-fat grilled hamburger on gluten free bread with kiwi fruit and bananas on the side.  I got some organic orange juice to vary up my drinking options, but otherwise, I’ve had water all day.  I kept a big cup full of water out on the counter all day while I was working and took a few sips every time I walked by.  I think that helped.

How I felt: Pretty high energy, all things considered.  I’ve had a mild headache most of the day again, but not so much that it couldn’t be ignored.  Tonight, it’s getting a little bit worse.  I have a little heartburn, too, and my thighs are hurting for reasons I can’t determine for sure.  Otherwise, I feel pretty good.

What I learned: These diet choices aren’t all that hard to live with, at least not right now.  I can see myself making similar choices with a broader margin for error for quite sometime.  Of course, I say that before I get rid of dairy and beef.  That will happen next week.  I’m sure things will get a bit more difficult then.

I am getting a little bit bored with a few aspects of the diet, though.  Like what I have to drink.  Water.  That’s pretty much it. I can have organic fruit juices, and I’ve been drinking some grapefruit juice, but other juices just seem a bit cloy to me.  I can have organic vegetable juices, but I’ve never been a fan of that.  Truthfully, the idea of them seems a bit appalling to me.  Seems I’m going to need to do a little bit of research into what my options really are to get a bit of variety.  Or just resign myself to being bored.

Not much else to say except that I’m pretty happy about getting this far.  I’m ready for the blechy stuff to be done and to consistently feel good – that’s my carrot at the end of the stick, so to speak.  Hopefully, that will be coming soon.

What I ate: Bagel and cashew butter for breakfast, salad for lunch with grilled chicken and feta cheese, and an egg white omelette with gluten free biscuits for dinner.  Snacks were cereal and trail mix.  I probably didn’t drink quite as much water as I needed to – the bored factor kicking in.

How I felt: My hips and legs are really sore.  I think it’s from that yoga workout that I did the other day.  I’m hoping to get into the pool, swim some laps and work out some kinks there pretty soon. Otherwise, my energy level is better, though I’m still pretty pooped out at the end of the day.  I could stand getting rid of the headache, too.

What I learned: I’m very easily bored.  And I like my food to be entertaining.  Is that a bad thing?

On the other hand, we had our small group meeting last night, and I sat with a plate of brownies in front of me having no trouble refusing them.  Gotta count for something, right?  And despite the nap, I was plenty tired when bedtime rolled around.  Guess I needed the sleep after all.

As I’ve been abstaining from all of these potentially toxic foods these last few days, the resulting fatigue, headaches, and general sense of the blahs makes me wonder what exactly I have been doing to myself all this time.  Is this the result of my body fighting off the shackles of processed foods and bad chemistry? Or is it simply rebelling against a radical and sudden change of diet?  I guess I’ll know when this is over – the proof will be in how I feel when it’s done.

Of course, I immediately begin drawing parallels to other aspects of my life.  I believe that much of what we can see in this physical world is a shadow or glimpse of what is going on in the spiritual realms.  Have I unwittingly toxified myself with the easy and convenient spiritual “foods” this worlds has to offer? What would happen if I chose to go off of those things cold turkey? Do I even know what those things are?

I’ve told several people about this detox process – they’ve been wondering why I don’t have coffee at the coffee shop, and order a salad at a cheese steak restaurant.  When I describe all of the things that I’m abstaining from, the consistent response is, “What CAN you eat?!?”  Apparently, this non-processed, hypo-allergenic diet is nowhere near the norm.  That immediately begs the question: Are my choices in how I live the rest of my life as different from the world as my current diet is from everyone else’s?  Or am I choosing the convenient, quick, and popular route for my spiritual food, too? Sustenance to be sure, but maybe not what’s best for me?  Huh….I don’t have an answer for that right now, but it’s something to ponder.

What I ate: Granola, blueberries and rice milk for breakfast – surprisingly good.  Enjoyable enough to have it for a snack later in the afternoon.   For lunch, I had leftover beef stroganoff from the night before.  Dinner was another gluten-free organic cheese pizza.  This is was the first day that I went completely caffeine-free – hence the headache.  No green tea, just water and grapefruit juice.

How I felt: Ugh…nothing more to be said.

What I learned: It seems my cravings are in a bit of flux.  The sugar craving wasn’t nearly as strong.  In fact, the only thing I truly craved was sleep. This process is supposed to result in increased energy in the long run.  I’m looking forward to that.

That should be no surprise.  There are many other things in my life that I’ve had to let go of that didn’t go quietly either.  Like people-pleasing.  I know and have known since dirt that people-pleasing isn’t good for me.  Just like sugar and caffeine and all that other stuff.  But it wasn’t until God nudged me into a crisis that I was willing to give it up.  Is it still a temptation for me? Sure.  I’ll bet sugar will still be tempting for me once all of this is over.  But I’ve determined that I will no longer be a slave to it, just as I am no longer a slave to what other people think of me.  Just as I am detoxing my body by abstaining from potential toxins and sensitivities, so God has me on a gradual detox from all of the spiritual toxins that have been polluting my spirit.  There have been times that weaning me from my spiritual addictions have required a season of intense withdrawal, a painful and un-fun experience to say the least.  But as much as has been cleaned out of me already, there is still a long way to go.  I hope that I will be more willing to cooperate with the process after having it laid out for me so clearly in what my body is going through.

On that note, here’s the scoop on day three:

What I ate: Back to the gluten-free bagel with cashew butter for breakfast.  I had a banana and green tea for mid-morning snack and then a salad with organic blue cheese, grilled chicken, and blush red raspberry vinagrette for lunch.  I also had a cup of organic apple cinnamon oatmeal (which was a little sickly sweet to my taste) and some gluten free toast with butter this afternoon.  For dinner, I tried a variation on beef stroganoff using all organic ingredients and gluten free noodles.  Yogurt and granola for after dinner snack, and that did it.  I did okay on my water intake – trying to catch up a little bit right now.

How I’m feeling: Surprisingly, I’ve had no headaches at all today.  I woke up feeling pretty energetic after a fantastic night’s sleep.  This afternoon though, I was pretty pooped out and took a nap – I intended for it to last only an hour, but it went almost two…oops!  I also got a 40 minute yoga session in this evening.  That felt extra good.

What I’ve learned: I’m addicted to sugar.  We’ll see if the cravings intensify and vary over the next few days.  I’m only three days into this with a long way to go.  We’ll see how the rest of this goes.

What I ate today: For breakfast, I had a meeting, so I had to cheat just a little.  I had some eggs from a breakfast taco, some blueberry yogurt, fresh fruit and orange juice. Not too bad.  I had a banana for snack and then out to lunch with the staff to celebrate a friend’s birthday.  Even though it was Texadelphia with awesome cheese steak sandwiches, I stuck to the grilled chicken salad, and even picked off the croutons.  Aren’t you proud?  Fresh fruit and organic trail mix for afternoon snacks, and a pizza made with gluten free crust, organic marinara and organic mozzarella for dinner.  Plus two cups of green tea and several glasses of water.  I’m pretty satisfied with that.

How I’m feeling: The detox symptoms are definitely kicking in.  I’ve had a mild headache and just felt “off” all day.  I’ve had heartburn off and on as well.  Add in a bad case of the sleepies starting at mid-afternoon and it makes for a long day.  Nothing too horrid, but certainly enough to make me want to prefer to be in bed.

What I’ve learned so far: I am having to consciously stop myself from snacking on whatever is lying around on the counter or in the pantry, whether that’s a stray french fry from my children’s dinner plates or snagging a Hershey’s miniature from the treat drawer.  Perhaps I’ve been snacking way more often than I’ve realized.  Or maybe the snacking urge is that much stronger since I’ve cut so far back on the sugar and salt.  Oh, and those diet cokes in the fridge were calling my name this evening.  I guess I’m figuring out the things that are hardest for me to give up.

I’ll be going to bed early tonight.  I’m pretty pooped out.  Tomorrow, my goals will be to get through the day without cheating or snacking, and to do at least 30 of yoga.  I’m also expecting my symptoms to worsen a bit more over the next couple of days, but things should start to improve after that.  So far, so good!